Dear Undergrads,
The Professor has just told you that you don't have to buy/can return a text book! On the word refund your ears should have perked up like a pig smelling a black truffle. Did it really take you an additional 6 repetitions to figure out which book could be returned? Especially since she also mentioned it was posted online. I'm just wondering because as I mentioned the word refund has always had the power to capture my attention instantly.
Sincerely,
Your Rather Incredulous TA
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Your Table Sir...
Dear Customers Your Table Has Been Ready for the Last 20 Minutes,
Please be aware that when the seating is on a first come first serve basis if your table is ready one of you should be ready to claim the table. I understand that you need to settle with the bartender first; but, that is rather different from chilling for an additional 20 minutes. Just be aware that other customers would LOVE to sit at your table. In summary MOVE IT or LOSE IT.
Sincerely,
The Hostess
Please be aware that when the seating is on a first come first serve basis if your table is ready one of you should be ready to claim the table. I understand that you need to settle with the bartender first; but, that is rather different from chilling for an additional 20 minutes. Just be aware that other customers would LOVE to sit at your table. In summary MOVE IT or LOSE IT.
Sincerely,
The Hostess
How Many?
Dear Customer Unsure of Exactly How Many Friends Are Coming,
I would like to point out that this restaurant seats on a first come first serve basis and will only seat you once your entire party is present. Therefore, it would help to know how many of you their will be. Telling me there will be at least four people at dinner is not helpful. In an age of mobile device try texting, calling, IMing, gchatting, whatevering your friends. Once you have confirmed your plans I will happily work on finding you a table.
Sincerely,
The Hostess
I would like to point out that this restaurant seats on a first come first serve basis and will only seat you once your entire party is present. Therefore, it would help to know how many of you their will be. Telling me there will be at least four people at dinner is not helpful. In an age of mobile device try texting, calling, IMing, gchatting, whatevering your friends. Once you have confirmed your plans I will happily work on finding you a table.
Sincerely,
The Hostess
Fried Food
Dear Customer,
In case you didn't notice the food you ordered is fried. Now fried food is cooked in some form of grease. Naturally the kitchen tries to remove as much of the grease as possible before putting your food on the plate, but some will inevitably linger. The kitchen does NOT pat your food down with 500 thread count cotton clothes. Therefore, if a slight residue of grease is something you find repugnant please consider ordering something else.
Sincerely,
Your Waitress
In case you didn't notice the food you ordered is fried. Now fried food is cooked in some form of grease. Naturally the kitchen tries to remove as much of the grease as possible before putting your food on the plate, but some will inevitably linger. The kitchen does NOT pat your food down with 500 thread count cotton clothes. Therefore, if a slight residue of grease is something you find repugnant please consider ordering something else.
Sincerely,
Your Waitress
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