Dear Customer Currently Having a Hissy Fit,
Please calm down. I realize you are hungry and that this makes you irrational; but, your hissy fit is not the answer. I promise that I will do my best to get you everything you want. Please, just calm down because you are behaving worse than those little girls on Toddlers and Tiaras and that is not a good look for a middle aged man.
Sincerely,
Your Waitress
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