5 Stages

Dear Kubler-Ross,

Did you formulate your theory on the 5 Stages of grief while working at a restaurant?  I get to watch people experience them every night when I tell them there a wait.  Here is a representative sampling of my experiences and responses.

Denial: But we called ahead!
My Response: Yes you did but so did the 7 groups ahead of you.

Anger:  We have a dog and a child we need an outside table right now!
My Response: (What I say) I'm sorry but there is nothing I can do.
(What I think) Really you are limiting your options and inconveniencing your child for the sake of your dog! Think about your priorities!

Bargaining: Those people are leaving can we take their table? We don't mind sitting 4 people at a 2 top.
My Responses: I'm sorry but that table is being claimed by customers settling their bill at the bar.
I'm sorry but having 4 people there would be a logistical nightmare, in short you could sit there but you couldn't actually get any food.

Depression: Should we even bother to wait?
My Response: Yes! Go get a drink at the bar and relax.  Time flies when you have fun!

Acceptance: We'll be at the bar.
My Response: (What I say) I will let you know as soon as your table is ready!
(What I think)  Really was all the drama necessary?

Sincerely,
The Hostess